Hardships: Paving the Way for New Growth
We all go through tragedy or hardships at some point in our lives. It’s an unfortunate fact of existence. When we experience these…

We all go through tragedy or hardships at some point in our lives. It’s an unfortunate fact of existence. When we experience these hardships, the sense of loss can be profound. In the extreme cases, when we lose a loved one or watch a valued relationship collapse, it can feel as if part of us is dying. And that’s because it is. Our close relationships feature as prominent parts of our personal story. They make up an important part of who we tell the world (and ourselves) that we are. Without them, we have to retell our personal story and discover who we are without them in our lives.
In addition, when we imagine the future, we almost always include some of our closest relationships in those plans. Losing a significant other can destroy the world we constructed in our mind’s eye more effectively than a nuclear blast could. It can cause us to feel directionless and like a major part of our identity has gone up in flames.
Tragedy is like a forest fire. If allowed to rage unchecked, it can destroy the whole forest and everything living within it. But if controlled, it can clear the way for new, productive growth.
It is important that we take action and seek to fill in the void that the forest fire has left. The true dangers lie when tragedy strikes, but we do nothing to control the flame and create new growth. This passivity leaves a gaping void in both our personal story and our vision for the future, making us feel lost, afraid, and directionless. These feelings can then spiral out of control and drag us into the abyss of depression and lethargy.
However, the destruction of our previous identity also allows us room to craft a new narrative about ourselves. We are no longer tied to the expectations of others or the concrete visions we’ve had about the future. We’re free to throw the canvas away and start anew, painting the picture we truly want. This sentiment is captured well by Marcus Aurelius,
Think of the life you have lived until now as over and, as a dead man, see what’s left as a bonus and live it according to Nature. Love the hand that fate deals you and play it as your own, for what could be more fitting?
— Marcus Aurelius, Meditations, 7.56–57
So do not lose hope in the face of tragedy or hardship. Persevere and use the opportunity to rewrite your story. You just might create your masterpiece.